It's easy when you are little, to feel like a princess. Layers of organdy, satin - pink for sure, something shiny like a crown or a wand (or a crown and a wand), and ballet slippers. Hey, remember those plastic high-heels with the elastic band that they sold for dress-up? I think that's when I learned to love comfortable shoes. And as any grandmother knows, they haven't been able to improve on those for over 50 years.
The more we grow up, the further away we get from feeling like a princess. Heck, we really don't even want to feel like a princess. We want to be genuine, true to ourselves and above all – comfortable. I struggle with my image. 99% of the time I will dress for comfort. Little or no make-up, just my wedding band and the hair – don't get me started. Low to no maintenance is my motto. But then I will go out in public. 99% of the people look the way I do. But then there's always that one woman I see that makes me sigh and say, "I wish I looked as polished as her." She's not necessarily thinner, or taller, or tanner. Her clothes might come from Target, they might even be comfortable, not fancy. But she looks polished. Pulled together, confident. And I feel frumpy. Comfortable, but frumpy.
I can be polished when I want/need to be, like on Thanksgiving Day. I felt like a princess in my new sweater and my nina bagley Hope bracelet. I even had on the glittery silver shoes. I loved how I looked. I felt confident and polished. But I felt like I was playing dress-up and when I got home, I immediatley stripped down to comfort and frump.
So, what's a woman to do? Be true to herself and her desires/lifestyle or be the woman she has always wanted to be, the polished one that turns other women's heads? Is there a key to being both polished and comfortable? Can one wear make-up without feeling so… made-up? There's a little bit of vanity going on I will admit, but honestly, for the most part, I think it's the artist in me that wants to look that way. I don't send frumpy art out into the world, so why do I send my frumpy self out into the world?
You can be comfortable and yet still feel like a “princess” — just by wearing and looking at that lovely bracelet.
Kim
We are our own worst critics. While you see yourself as frumpy it isn’t at all what the rest of us see. You are a unique individual and the few times I’ve been around you I thought you were stunning, really, that gorgeous white hair! If you’re frumpy I hate to think what I am?!! LOL!
I have to agree with what Kelly Henderson said – it *is* awfully hard to look polished when creating art. Although I’m the “Queen”, it sometimes makes me snicker to myself – because I certainly don’t dress the part! I would much rather wear my sweats or jeans and tennies or boots, than a tailored suit and heels, any day. In fact, you would be hard pressed to get me into heels and a nice dress – unless it’s a funeral. This year at Thanksgiving I even wore sweats…but I had a new t-shirt on. (lol)
My best friend, on the other hand, can wear sweats and look totally elegant and polished. I don’t know how she does it – it’s just something about her. Then again, she isn’t into art – and she spends her money on high end make up and $60 hair cuts – while I spend mine on gesso and fabric. (And can’t remember the last time I got a hair cut!)
I know exactly what you mean – I worry about what I must portray to the world. That said, every time I’ve seen pictures of you, you appear very “pulled together”. Frumpy is the last word I would use to describe you. I sometimes wonder how wonderful creators – like you – manage to turn out exquisite art and still look like you do. It’s interesting to know you feel similarly – because in *my* mind, you are glamorous all the time. Even when you’re alone, creating a storm!
You are NOT frumpy!!! You are the one who always looks so polished!!
It’s awfully hard to be polished and make art at the same time isn’t it? I find myself in the same old pair of paint covered blue jeans most days.
But it’s all okay and it sounds like you are already a very authentic person… there is always that ONE woman. I tell myself not to compare myself with anyone else but it’s tough.
Still, I’d rather have paint and clay on my fingers than diamonds..
I think your lovely just the way you are.
How we look at ourself in the mirror is usually so much different than how others see us…I truly understand this post…as I know in my heart you truly understand your beauty…
As I sit here in my old sweatshirt and sweatpants, I am nodding my head and thinking, “yes, yes. what has happened to my princess?” Is it rebellion against the “requirement” to look perfect or just because I’m tired of trying? I’ve always had trouble finding that middle ground – comfortable but polished. It’s easier to achieve the extremes – frump vs wow. But Lesley, don’t worry your public appearance is far from frumpy! You’ve done it – polished comfort!
i have stayed with you in hotels and homes all over this world, and i have never ever ever seen you look frumpy. flannel pjs look positively elegant when worn by beautiful you xo
I can’t imagine you looking “frumpy”. You need to redefine the word. The “shine” comes from within. A persons’ heart and mind will determine their behavior and that trumps the shell.
This is a very interesting post. I, too, favor comfort in the way I put myself together. I think being comfortable with ourselves is the first step to appearing polished to the outside world.
You may be like most of my clients who know deep down inside that the real person they were born to be got buried somewhere along the way. You don’t know how or when, but you know the “real you” is hiding somewhere. Every now and then you “play dress up” and feel like a princess. The problem is that unless you let your princess out to play every day, you will always feel like an imposter when you dress up.
It isn’t necessary to wear a lot of makeup to look like a princess, nor is it necessary to wear expensive clothes. It is necessary to wear the makeup and clothing colors that make your skin look luminescent and healthy. When you find the right makeup colors you’ll use far less makeup but get “perfect skin” results instead of “perfect makeup.” Pink is the color of babies and youth, yet most cosmetic companies churn out endless shades of yellow-toned foundations and orange-toned and brown-toned “tawny” blushers. They make you look older and more made up!
And don’t believe the silly notion that as you get older you need to wear “softer” colors. You need to wear the colors that suit your skin’s natural coloring so it looks like it did when you were young. So-called “soft” colors often make you look pale and washed out.
As an artist, you know that it is important to strive to create a masterpiece every time. As an image consultant, I use all the rules an artist uses. Artists convey a message through color and through the expert use of line to lead the eye where it should be. My goal is to help my clients look like a masterpiece every day – with little or no effort, once they have mastered the rules of color and line for themselves. No, you don’t create frumpy art, so it’s time to start letting your image be on a par with your art.