In my last post I said I'd post "tomorrow". Never say "tomorrow" when you are as busy a woman as I am. These days just whisk on by and before you know it, a week has passed. Children bearing grandchildren come, daughters have birthday parties and houses need that final cleanout before settlement. Yes! we sold the house in 3 short days. A rarity in this real estate market, but then again, we always knew we had something special. So as of 10 am tomorrow, goodbye Wonderland. xxx I'm so totally cool with it because I have already moved on, physically of course, but also mentally. The quest to simplify is greater than the lure of nostalgia. I have my memories and that will suffice because after all I'm always creating new ones.
I am much more excited about what has transpired in the last 28 hours. Yesterday I just could not take it any longer. I had this need, this yearning to create something new. To fill my well, expand my horizons and get outside my box, my comfort zone.
So I went online to my favorite dreaming spot, the Art League School @ the Torpedo Factory in Alexandria, VA. It's about an hour away during rush hour which is why I usually only drool over class offerings instead of signing up. That and I'm usually travelling too much. But yesterday, desperate to start NOW, I started my search again. And right there, in the As was just the class I needed. And it started TODAY. There was really no excuse for not signing up but I was hesitant. Faced with the perfect opportunity, I started hemming and hawing again. I told my husband there was a class but I wasn't sure I wanted to take it. He said, "Why not?" and when I had to verbalize my answer I discovered what I was afraid to admit to myself ~ I was afraid, afraid I'd fail. It was outside of my comfort zone after all. But desire won out over fear. One of the first quotes that resonated with me when I "went public" with my art came to mind ~ "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anias Nin. I called to make sure there was space and it was a go, and then signed up. I pulled out my oil paints (still fresh after what? 15 years) and got very, very excited.
When I awoke this morning I really didn't want to go. Fear rearing her ugly head again. Why was I so afraid, so reluctant to take the leap into something I've been dying to do? Perfectionism. I was afraid I wouldn't be perfect right off the bat. Just like the shoemaker and his children, this artist & creativity teacher was not taking care of her own. I know better than this, so much better. So I gave myself a pep talk and got the excitement back and the desire bubbling and headed on out.
On my drive there that I realized that were I to have a canoe or a little boat, I could just drift down the Potomac River to my class. I live about a mile uphill from the river, and the class is located about 20? miles south downriver through MD, DC and on into Virginia. My entire drive was along the river, an uninspiring brown today from all the recent rain.
Do I need to tell you my fear was unfounded.I don't mean I was perfect, I just didn't fail. Am i happy with everything I did today? No, but in all honesty, you cannot learn techniques and create well planned and designed work at the same time. There just isn't time. Nor can you assimilate fast enough to use the new skill and incorporate the old ones. Especially in a 3 hour class.
Three hours was perfect because I was wiped out on the way home. I expend a lot of enery creating – who doesn't? I tell my family I am much more drained after a day of art than any other task I might take on. And I love it. "What class?" I hear you asking.
Abstract Art ~ Beyond the Tangible
This class focuses on the development of non-objective paintings. Beginners concentrate on painting basics and compositional structure while advanced students reach more deeply into 20th century and contemporary styles of astraction. All students explore personal expression, mark-making techniques and painting on a variety of surfaces. Pulling from the 'real' world of figures and objects, the course investigates formal issues and new ways of working.
Abstract art enables the artist to percieve beyond the tangible,
to extract the infinate out of the finite.
Ashile Gorky
Today we worked on 10"x10" sample sheets using different techniques to create backgrounds and/or special effects. Today was acrylic so they would dry fast, but next time will be my oils. And how's this for scary – next week it's 22"x30" paper and then after that, (gulp) a "sizeable" canvas. Someone asked what she meant by sizeable and she said 24"x36" or 30"x30". That's huge to me. And wow, a lot of paint!!!! Talk about stepping outside the box, my tiny 8"x10" box.
The instructor is Beverly Ryan, who was highly recommended to me by another former student and accomplished artist in her own right, Melissa Hackmann. Melissa will be on her way to Portland teach at her first Art & Soul this week. I wish I was on my way as well, but hey, I have a class to take next Sunday.
What is it you're not doing that you really want to do?
Hey Lesley,
Just catching up with you (well not really) but nice to see you are taking time to tackle new endeavors! It’s good to get outside out box sometimes, it inspires us.
Lorri
Hey Lesley,
Just catching up with you (well not really) but nice to see you are taking time to tackle new endeavors! It’s good to get outside out box sometimes, it inspires us.
Lorri
Hey Lesley,
Just catching up with you (well not really) but nice to see you are taking time to tackle new endeavors! It’s good to get outside out box sometimes, it inspires us.
Lorri
Wow Lesley.. sounds like you are in a whirlwind.. Good luck with your house and moving and everything else.,… of course the sizable canvas too.. you will do great in the class.. We all are scared to try new things at first. Remember when I took your class in Chicago 4 years ago.. I was a wreck.. Take care and enjoy.. Laura K
hi,
many years ago, in a drawing class, I was being my usual “agonizing” self when the teacher said drily, “you know it won’t actually kill you if you make a bad picture”. I still agonize but I bounce back. Just go for it!
Jump in feet first! If your first day was perfect, how much would feel you would grow? Embrace the fear and enjoy the ride.
And remember, there are no Art Police and the garbage man comes on Tuesday.
A do everything I want to, the problem is carving out the time. But my rule is a half hour if creative time even if it is just thinking and making lists an drawings of projects. If I have a list it gets done.
Mary Ann
Lesley,
I’m fairly new to your blog – found it by way of the Hudson River Valley Fiber Art and Art Quilt Workshops email. I so wanted to take your class, but was out of town for our family week at the beach.
Since, I’ve been enjoying your sharing. And just now you brought to mind an old friend, Bev Ryan. You see, I’m a juried Torpedo Factory artist who now lives in CT and, after nearly 3 years here, is still feeling quite displaced.
Bev is a lovely person and one of my favorite artists. She’s an ex-fiber artist in case she didn’t mention it – used to weave, still has lots of texture in her paintings. While I was never fortunate enough to take one of her classes, others raved about them.
Enjoy the class. Experiment, have fun, play.
Hey Lesley,
Congratulations on taking the plunge! It’s so easy to let our fears take hold and prevent us from moving forward and making new discoveries about ourselves. Thanks for the reminder. xo cindy
Leslie, thanks so much for sharing your fear with us. I think admitting that it exists is the hardest part. Otherwise we’re just making the usual excuses: not enough time, too far away, too expensive, etc.